Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

I sent this out to a few already......

I want to die....I want to die....I want to die.....

I can't take all the bad crap that happened to me recently....I especially can't take the gas prices. I can't survive when gas is going over $2 and the milk is going up much further than before. I know that of course I can choose not to use milk but what if the price of everything else goes up? I can't stand it.....

"Certain people," if you know whom I mean, are right. I can't support a family. There's no way. I had always thought that what I was able to do was enough...just pay half of the bills, buy some groceries, spend time with the kids and help with homework and stuff.... but that's not enough. A family would need a father that would be financially strong enough to do more than just that and have a car too. I don't have all that....

If I screwed up this badly...and I realize this one big dream isn't going to come true...and that I probably won't at least find someone that loves me as much as I love her and not screw up again....and stay with her for life....then why live? Why live?????? With the price of living going up and up, I would probably slowly starve to death anyway and I don't want to die slow.....I'd rather die quick by any measures necessary.

and also I know that quite a lot of people would just be so happy that I feel this way....that I am going to die. If only I had the courage to just blow myself away....



( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 7th, 2004 07:55 am (UTC)
Oh Al. *hugs*

You aren't the only one in the same boat. On the Christian forums I frequent pretty often, they are talking about the same thing.

If you want to check it out, it is at How much are you paying for gas?

I constantly pray everyday to lift my burdens especially being an unemployed college student that had to pay $25 ($100 per month!!) per week for gas only. Now I'm paying about $20 even though the prices has been steadily increasing from $1.45 to $1.86 from last January to now.

In some ways He has done this to me so I'm able to breathe a little better. In some other ways, it's a little harder but if there's a means, there's a way. :)

{{{Hugs}}} I'll keep you in my prayers. Please don't give up your life just because there aren't a way for you at the moment. I'm pretty sure there's a purpose that you're going through for and there will be so much better reward in the end for you.

Don't give up sweetie. I'm right there with you.
May. 7th, 2004 06:47 pm (UTC)
do you have any instant messengers?

Add me...
May. 8th, 2004 06:44 am (UTC)
I don't think I have your AIM name. I just checked my comments and yours. Is it the same as your LJ name?
May. 8th, 2004 08:36 am (UTC)

Yahoo: dragonmerc

MSN: steeldriver@hotmail.com (Molos)
May. 7th, 2004 04:14 pm (UTC)
you aren't alone. i see everything going up in price, i see things change and i have no power to change them.
i'm sorry darling, i know the feeling too.
May. 7th, 2004 06:00 pm (UTC)
sweetie don't give up on everything. Its alright to be scared cuz everythings just changing but theres always a way and when things hit bottom they can onlie get better. hang in there and you'll see that sumthings gona turn around for ya
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )