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If I knew enough Portuguese, I could have something to say about the planning events around that waste of time football and also about why Miami and Miami are pronounced different...though I was told that Miami, FL is pronounced incorrect....

I haven't learned to dance at all in school to my memory...I haven't heard of calf fries or the last state legislator to introduce a castration bill...

the thing about OU and Texas can go to Tartarus, do not pass the Elysian Fields, do not collect 200 Nova Roman Sestertii (US$100).......

all the farming crap doesn't apply to me...not everywhere in OK is so "boondocky" that the "local" law enforcement is the sherriff that knows people by first name (the first name basis with county sherriff line...)....

and now with no further ado....

(edit: oh hell...put PA on top...why??....because it's damn right that way!! PA always on top!!



You Know You're From Pennsylvania When...


You've never referred to Philadelphia as anything but "Philly." And New
Jersey has always been "Jersey."

You refer to Pennsylvania as "PA."

"You guys" is a perfectly acceptable reference to a group of men & women.

You know how to respond to the question "Djeetyet?" (Didyoueatyet?)

You learned to pronounce Bryn Mawr, Wilkes-Barre, Schuylkill, Bala Cynwyd,
Duquesne, New Tripoli, Tunkhannock, Punxsutawney, Tamaqua, Susquehanna,
Allegheny, and Monongahela.

You know what a "Mummer" is, and are disappointed if you can't catch at least
highlights of the parade.

The first day of buck and the first day of doe season are school holidays.

You can use the phrase "fire hall wedding reception" and not even bat an eye.

You can't go to a wedding without hearing the "Chicken Dance," at least one
Polka and either an Italian song (sung in Italian,) or "Hava Nagila."

At least 5 people on your block have electric "candles" in all or most of
their windows all year long.

You know what a "Hex sign" is.

You know what a "State Store" is, and your out of state friends find it
incredulous that you can't purchase liquor at the mini-mart.

You own only three condiments "A-1, Heinz 57 and Heinz ketchup".

Words like "hoagie", "crick", "chipped ham", "sticky buns", "shoo-fly pie",
"pierogies" and "pocketbook" actually mean something to you.

You can eat cold pizza (even for breakfast) and know others who do the same.

You know several places to purchase or that serve Scrapple, Summer Sausage
(Lebanon Bologna), and Hot Bacon Dressing.

One of the highlights of your life was a field trip to Penn's Cave and Horseshoe curve.

You know exactly what to do when your mother tells you to "red up" your room.

You know the time and location of every "wing night" in a 20 mile radius.

You don't think people from Philly or Pittsburgh talk funny.

You don't understand all the hype about Rolling Rock beer;
You've been drinking it for years even though Iron City is better.

You consider an exotic vacation to be a trip to Ocean City, Virginia Beach,
or Myrtle Beach.

Words like "hoagie", "chipped ham", and "pop" actually mean something to you.

You think very little of an Amish buggy on the road.

You learned long ago how to "step carefully" around the buggy tie-ups in the
supermarket parking lot.

You can go 2 weeks in winter without sunshine and think this is normal.

You know that Blue Ball, Intercourse, Climax, Bird-in-Hand, Virginville,
Paradise, Mars, and Slippery Rock are all PA towns.

There is no such thing as a "Philly Cheesesteak".
It's just called a "Cheesesteak."

You know that Eucre is a card game and not a form of vomiting.

You not only have heard of Birch Beer, but you know that it comes in
several colors: Red, Blue, White, Brown, Gold.

You know what REAL potpie is.

You ask the waitress for "dippy eggs" for breakfast.

Your turkey has "filling," not "stuffing," and most certainly, NOT "dressing."

You consider Pittsburgh to be "out west,"
and you know the fastest way to Philly is the Turnpike.

When it snows, they put cinders on the roads instead of sand.

Know that Yuengling is pronounced "Ying-ling," and believe
that it really is a premium beer

You know that a green pepper is not a pepper at all but a "mango".

You have an uncontrollable urge to buy bread and milk
when you hear the word "snow."

You live within two miles of a plant that makes potato
chips, corn chips, pretzels, candy, or ice cream, or
that packages turkeys, beans, or bologna.

You can stop along the road to buy fruits, vegetables,
or crafts on the "honor system."

You know what REAL pot pie is.

YOUR turkey has "filling," not "stuffing," and most
certainly, NOT "dressing."

You know that chicken corn soup from a fire house is
the most nearly perfect food on earth.

You say things like, "Outen the lights," "I'm calling
off today," and "They're calling for snow."

You've heard of distelfinks and hex signs.

You only buy your beer and soda by the case.

You think the roads in any other state are smooth.

You know the Penn State cheer, and although you've
never attended Penn State, you are a most obnoxious
Penn State fan.

Hearing horses clopping down a paved street doesn't
bring you to the window to see what's going on outside.

You never see any Confederate Flags, except on the
Gettysburg Battlefield.

You prefer Hershey's Chocolate to Godiva.

School closings due to snow take the radio stations
a half an hour to finish, because just about every town
has its own school district.

You have the Rolling Rock bottle memorized: "From the
glass lined tanks of Old Latrobe, we tender this premium
beer for your enjoyment. . . . "

Elect pro-life Democrats and pro-choice Republicans
for Governor

Frequently go "with," e.g., "You going to the market?
Mind if I come with?"

Refer to something as "a whole nother," e.g., "That's a
whole nother issue."

You REALLY HATE antiquers. On Sunday mornings you would
scream "Go back to Jersey!" at least once on the way to church.

When you were a kid and somebody really pissed you
off, you said, "I'm gonna deck you!"

You know the expression, "Hey naw! Watchya dewin'?"

You know where to buy "Opera Fudge" and that it has
absolutely no connection to the Opera.

The only Jewish people that you've ever met have been
from New York or New Jersey.

You love the Phillies (unless they stink) in which case
you love the Orioles (unless they stink) in which case
you solemnly swear that you've never even liked the
Phillies or the Orioles, but have always been a Penn
State fan.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Pennsylvania.









You Know You're From Ohio When...


You say ya'll ... many times a day.

Bedlam is a BIG deal.

You can tell when it's tornado weather.

When you drive through a neighborhood anyone out walking will smile and wave at you.

You've worn flip flops in the winter

You have stopped to let a family of deer cross the road.

You thought the twister ride at Universal Studios wasn't windy enough.

You know who your neighbors are, how many children they have, and when one of them gets
married or graduates.

There are at least 2 to 3 Sonics, McDonalds, and Little Ceasars in your town

You've been off roading - many times

You or someone you know was born, raised and still lives in the same town.

You know that Miami, Oklahoma and Miami, Florida are pronounced two different ways.

You plan events around football games.

You are a Cowboy or Sooners fan.

You learned how to do country and western dances at school.

A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.

You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Gotebo, Okemah and Chickasha.

You can remember the name of the last state legislator to introduce a bill involving castration,
and he didn't mean farm animals.

You know exactly what calf fries are, and eat them anyway.

You think that people who complain about the wind in other states are sissies.

It doesn't bother you to use an airport named for a man who died in an airplane crash.

You have owned at least one belt buckle bigger than your fist.

A bad traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a four-way stop, each determined
to be the most polite and let the other go first.

It doesn't seem odd to see the term "chicken fried chicken" on a menu.

You save all your life for your dream vacation, and use it to go to the OU/Texas game.

It doesn't seem peculiar if your sweetie says "I'm going in to town for something" even though you
live in town.

You don't turn on the news until 20 minutes past the hour, because that's the only thing you care
about anyway.

Your quarterback is hurt and it is the top story on the six o'clock news.

You keep track of the grain and hog futures on the radio.

You don't buy all your vegetables at the grocery store.

You go to the State Fair for your only vacation.

You get up at 5:30 A.M. and go to the coffee shop, where the waitress never asks what you
would like. She already knows.

You are on a first name basis with the county sheriff.

You know what the "Sea of Red and White" is.

You think that using the elevator involves a corn truck.

You can drive 80 mph on a two-lane dirt road with one hand, but driving 45 mph on a four-lane
expressway in a city scares you to death.

You use manure on your grass instead of Weed and Feed.

Your nearest neighbor is in the next zip code.

You know the difference between fee corn and sweet corn... while it's still on the stalk.

You wear cowboy boots to church.

You know that everything goes better with Ranch.

You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.

"You wanna Coke?"
"Yeah."
"What kind?"
"Dr. Pepper."

You know what "Orange Power" and "Crimson & Cream" means.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Oklahoma.