Skrain Bodak (skrain_bodak) wrote,
Skrain Bodak


A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the
students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get
together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really that
hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to
another, and they decided to do a seven-day experiment. They would each go
into the woods, find a bear, and preach to it.

A week later, they're all together to discuss the experience.

Father O'Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has
various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, in a fine Irish brogue,
went oot into th' woods to find me a bear. And when I fund him I began to
read to him from the Baltimorre Catechism. Well, that bear wanted naught to
do with' me and begun to slap me aboot. So I quick grabbed me holy water
and, THE SAINTS BE PRAISED, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is
cooming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both
legs in casts. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he proclaimed,
brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle...WE DUNK! I went out and I FOUND
me a bear. And then I began to read to him from God's HOOOOLY WORD! But
that bear wanted nothing to do with me. I SAY NO! He wanted NOTHING to do
with me So I took HOOOLD of him and we began to rassle. We rassled down one
hill, UP another and DOWN another until we come to a crick. So I quick DUNK
him and BAPTIZE his hairy soul. An' jus like you sez, he wuz gentle as a
lamb. We spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's
HOOOOLY word."

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying in a hospital bed He's in a
body cast and traction, with IV's and monitors running in and out of him.
The rabbi looks up and says, " Oy ! " Preaching to the bear was easy,
he got a bit touchy about the circumcision."
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