September 25th, 2004

Lancea Sanctum

some of you would love this......

Date: Fri, 24 Sep 2004 11:16:53 -0400
From: Lucius Sicinius Drusus <drusus@brandxcomputers.com>
Subject: JOB APPLICATION

An E-Mail that I can't resist forwarding ;-)

JOB APPLICATION


NAME: John Kerry

RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including one in Washington DC, worth multi-millions.
I served in Vietnam (four months).

EXPERIENCE:
Law Enforcement. In my career as a U.S. Senator, I've voted to cut every law
enforcement, CIA, and Defense bill. I ordered the city of Boston to remove a
fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the
event of fire. I served in Vietnam (four months).

MILITARY:
I served in Vietnam (four months). I used three minor injuries to get an
early
discharge from the military and service in Vietnam (as documented by the
attending doctor). I served in Vietnam (four months). I then returned to the
U.S., joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning
Vietnam
vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were baby killers. I served in
Vietnam (four months). I threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in
protest.
Or did I? My book "Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier",
shows
how I truly feel about the military. I served in Vietnam (four months).

COLLEGE:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my counterpart
George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get admitted to
Harvard nor
graduate with an M.B.A

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
After College and Vietnam, I ran for the U.S. Congress and have been
there ever
since. I have no real world experience except marrying very rich women and
running their companies vicariously through them. I served in Vietnam (four
months).

ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
As a U.S. Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting record,
exceeding
even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have consistently failed to
support our
military and CIA by voting against their budgets, thus gutting our country's
ability to defend itself. Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am
against
it and refuse to admit that I voted for it. I voted for every liberal
piece of
legislation. I have no plan to help this country but I intend to raise taxes
significantly if I am elected. I served in Vietnam (four months).

My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he
will never
catch up. I make little or no charitable contributions and have never
agreed to
pay any voluntary excess taxes in Massachusetts, despite family wealth
in excess
of $ 700 million. I served in Vietnam (four months).

I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in places
like
Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the cheaper cost
of labor
in those Countries, although I blame George Bush for sending all of the
other
jobs out of Country. I served in Vietnam (four months).

Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted
Kennedy and I
oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it might spoil
our view
of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts. I served in Vietnam (four months).

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
None. However, I served in Vietnam (four months).

PERSONAL I practice my Catholic faith whenever cameras are present. I ride a
Serotta Bike. I love to ski/snowboard. I call my Gulfstream V Jet the
"Flying
Squirrel". I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the
"Scarmouche".

I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it reflects our real culture.

I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer

mansion,
though I am against large, polluting, inefficient vehicles and blame
George Bush
for our energy problems. I served in Vietnam (four months).

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.

(Oh Lucius, you are so "hopped up" on yourself....: *whispers* everyone note his NR initials)