May 11th, 2005

Lancea Sanctum

surprised

I'm suprised no one noticed anything special about today....

I'm fighting lonliness...despair, the typical of both that I have every year now....

It's too bad that the only two birthdays I've ever had that I've received anything from what could be called a gf....was from two pieces of crap that I still don't understand what I saw in them other than me wanting one in a hurry and/or allowing myself into a "might as well" type thing.

Same thing with V-day...the only two that I've received and given anything to a loved one that wasn't family was to those two same pieces of crap...one that was too chicken to stand up to her own overprotective parents and let herself become afraid of her own epilepsy and a weak leg...the other with Downes who wasn't as mild as I thought...

But then aside from that, I try not to dwell......

(and those that know what happened about a year ago, I bet some of you didn't know I had gfs prior to *ahem* did you?)