May 2nd, 2006

Lancea Sanctum

Well the trip is off....

however few people know the reasons and I'm not sure if I'm up to 'splaining anymore.

Besides, those that witnessed my ugliest side ever, I'm sorry and am going to apologize around places now.

If anyone else wonders, just email or IM or something.

Things are better a little and have forgiven Sherri and we're back, though now really as friends more than anything. I had several thoughts that I should have written in notepad to share with mom later but like an idiot didn't. However I should still sit down and thing and brainstorm and type them up especially in case an event occurs like when I tell mom that I forgave Sherri and am back with her...

...or if mom decides on spur of moment to visit our friend Ruby and I'm the captive guest and they both gang on me like they did about my laptop shopping, 2dreamsilently knows what I'm talking about. I would just want to be ready with a printout of what I type up handy on my person in case Ruby throws me off balance with her stubborn opinions because I know for sure that she'd rub it in my face that she "knew" all along that one simply can't trust every single person on the internet that one doesn't know in person and even then if you do meet someone online and meet them in person and they're close enough to meet in person more than once, if you meet on the internet they're TEH EVILLLL and can't be trusted at all and are out to rip you off and can't be trusted and OMGWTMBBQ, they'll slit your throat and take your money and make you buy plane tickets and then notify you the next day that they forgot their relative's birthday or they get you a plane trip and you only get one way, with the promise of the return trip when you get there, only to find out the friend doesn't have the money to pay for the return trip and therefore no ticket so you're stranded....


I just can't believe the judgementalness of some people and how I'm closely related to one that CLAIMS to have my best interests in mind and desires to protect me even though I'm an adult but yet swears up and down that she realizes that I'm high functioning enough to be independent does she put it?....crap I dunno....had a headache today and just decided at 7 to lay down with a few Tylenol to get it out so I can read/study for the final. So the closest I can come to what I think is that she recognizes or claims to, how independent I am or think I am and says that I am independent as far as being able to decide to go out for pop/snacks or to go to the game shop or rent a movie on my own or get a drink....but yet there are things I can't do while in her house.

and even then I don't think that's what she was always saying.

anyway I can't believe I'm closely related to someone that also thinks that since she's OLDER and has "ZOMGWTMBBQ 59 years of lifetime experience...." that she has the malfing GALL to think how other people think and/or expect how other people think...and then think it's okay to not only manipulate others' opinions and force hers onto others, but also do it in a way that makes sense to even sober people.

and I reiterate that if any of you wonder about what I just said, comment and I'll privately contact you with the details...but yea what recently happened that was connected to my cancelled trip, I was indeed drunk at one point and afterward when I came home, mom did say I should be mad certain person...because now I'm out of most of the $529. that I spent on the trip package because of a mother's birthday that was forgotten.

Yeah I know...which reminds me...poll time...(please explain answer in comment)

Poll #720868 forgotten relatives' birthdays

can people REALLY forget their own mother's birthday?


Mom apparently thinks it's IMPOSSIBLE NO MATTER WHAT for anyone to forget one's mother's birthday even though I argue that I never forget those of close relatives because she starts giving suggestions and asking about "so and so's" birthday a month or so ahead of time and this also extends to mother's day and Christmas.

She does this not only for herself but for my nephew and niece and my sister so that's why I ALWAYS remember my mom's and my sister's and my nephew's and niece's birthdays.

HOWEVER...I did bring up (and of course she chooses to ignore it) that even though my dad was born on the anniversary of the Pearl Harbor attack, that I forgot his birthday for the simple fact that I never was able to buy him a birthday present or any type of present...why??...because he died when i was 7.

Also I keep forgetting my grandma's birthday because she's hard to shop for and for that reason I don't get her presents either.

To me there's TONS of reasons why a person could even forget their own mom's birthday. They could be so busy that it slipped their mind or any other reason and I'm just so beside myself that I let mom's opinion get in the way.

Then again I was and still am a bit upset about the appearances of the whole thing...and this is all that I'm going to reveal in this entry about this...but still I'm beside myself while going back over the past month: first it appeared Sherri was okay with the trip, then she needed a break, then she wanted to become just friends again, then she wanted to change the trip from me visiting in May to June because "May's too soon." Then came the other weekend when we zeroed in on one flight and she said she was tired and needed sleep and I told her I'd go on...

...I got the flight trip booked and that's when I asked about the ID thing...and then she said she forgot her mom's bday....

It was my money that I lost...and it would be a long while for both of us to recover even emotionally from all this because there was too much hurt to go around and mistrust. Part of me still wonders that if I did go ahead and rebook, if the same thing would happen again twice in a row...the "Oops, sorry I forgot (something else)." thing.