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I'm suprised no one noticed anything special about today....

I'm fighting lonliness...despair, the typical of both that I have every year now....

It's too bad that the only two birthdays I've ever had that I've received anything from what could be called a gf....was from two pieces of crap that I still don't understand what I saw in them other than me wanting one in a hurry and/or allowing myself into a "might as well" type thing.

Same thing with V-day...the only two that I've received and given anything to a loved one that wasn't family was to those two same pieces of crap...one that was too chicken to stand up to her own overprotective parents and let herself become afraid of her own epilepsy and a weak leg...the other with Downes who wasn't as mild as I thought...

But then aside from that, I try not to dwell......

(and those that know what happened about a year ago, I bet some of you didn't know I had gfs prior to *ahem* did you?)


( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 12th, 2005 04:36 am (UTC)
Happy Birthday, you. :)
May. 12th, 2005 05:24 am (UTC)
Happy birthday!!!
May. 12th, 2005 12:45 pm (UTC)
*big hugs*

Your birthday is in my book. :)
May. 12th, 2005 02:29 pm (UTC)
Happy belated birthday =)
May. 12th, 2005 05:46 pm (UTC)
Birthday Blues?
I am sorry that you feel your specail day was truly not specail at all. I am sorry I could not do more for you than what was done as well. For a simple e-mail or two truly is not much at all. However, with current issues I am facing...I am afraid that it is all I have, my friend. I do pray that as the week comes to close that you will find things getting easier as well as better.

May God Bless You

May. 12th, 2005 11:08 pm (UTC)
Well it's okay....it's better than last year
Way better despite mom being a stupid ass. She tried to use who she is to bully me around again, starting from me saying that I didn't wish for anyone to give me a verbal happy birthday before I called you since she was sending a bulky email and it was slow sending...so by the time she logged up, it was so late that I just didn't bother calling since it was right on top of your bedtime...so I went out in the living room and told her and she really wanted to ignore it b/c she said I was having an attitude....

Then the next morning I was caught off guard and didn't shush her when she said Happy Birthday so by the time the day was through we had about two nasty fights because to me, she DIDN'T say happy birthday...I choose to ignore that she said it since she said it to me before you did and that my version of events is THE CORRECT events...the last fight started when I insisted that my version is the right version of events and she said "Well my version of events is that you find your own way to work, etc etc" So I said she was a selfish, barbarian bitch that disrespected a birthday wish.

So don't worry even though she apparently won't say happy birthday to me, you still got it first. Everything's better other than her being an egotistical barbarian with no culture or civility and me no apologizing for believing so. Things would cool off without any apology to her either.

btw, hon, you're making me worried again....you having major financial worries? Are they worse?
May. 13th, 2005 02:14 am (UTC)
happy bday to u yesterday. Sorry Im late.. I didnt come online yesterday other than at work. dont be down.. things will turn around.. youll see.

Add me to msn!!


May. 13th, 2005 02:20 am (UTC)
I was so busy these past few days...Sorry! *bows* Hope you have a good birthday!
(Deleted comment)
May. 13th, 2005 02:26 pm (UTC)
I know Chette but I was meaning that no one on here seemed to pay attention to the....thing...but then I understand since it's been years since it worked to send out notices...and how many people post from the Portal thing?

And....even though I never posted about it in customers_suck, my birthday was incredibly busy...I hated it...everyone that ate there deserved a mention. It was one of those days that serve as an example of me asking why it seems everyone doesn't SEE that there's a KFC, Wings To Go, Subway, Popeye's, Fajita Rita's and Pizza Hut down the road when it's obvious that we're so bloody busy? And there's a Schlotzski's next door too! And yet there's a day like Wednesday where everyone comes....

I heard one time a DJ that felt for people like me, he said, as an exaggeration, "People...if you want to go to your favorite food place for lunch or whatever and you see that the parking lot is SO FULL that care are parking WAY OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET....go somewhere else!!

Also there's the matter of mom being stubborn, she was sending a large email the night before, I wanted to call Danielle to have her wish a first verbal happy birthday, I didn't get to since the sending too so long that by the time it was finished and she got off, the time was right on top of when she goes to bed. So I went out there and said that it's my wish that I don't want to hear a happy birthday until I called Danielle first...so what happens the next day? We wake up and I was on the computer and mom walks by and I don't know if it was disrespect, a lapse, or forgetfulness but she said happy birthday to me....

Oh btw, when I said what I did the night before, and said I would even "shush" her if she tried to say it...she told me that I was behing hateful and "having an attitude"!! So anyway I had a small fight with her with me saying I'll ignore her saying Happy Birthday, it didn't happen, because I did tell her in advance that I wished Danielle to say the first verbal one and it will happen that way.

I tried to get mom to say it again after I called Danielle later but she kept on refusing saying "I already said it" and then later when I tried to get her to sing the song she still didn't sing it and so this is the first birthday where only Danielle verbally said it to me and no one sang it on my birthday except over the answering machine. There was even a kinda nasty fight at night too where she was so mad she was threatening to stop transportation and kick me out if I insisted that the CORRECT version of events was that she never did say "Happy Birthday" to me.

I have right to change history...and I did...yes, Euri was first overall and Creation...but verbally, Danielle was first, and as for mom, she sang to me last night so better late than never.

The point of the story is...no....I fell so horribly. :(

The only good thing is that I was going to post in customers_suck that day and never did though I still feel like posting (I've calmed down)
May. 15th, 2005 02:12 am (UTC)
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )