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prayer....

some of you may know this already but...

recently while saving to get a laptop I've been hit by two (so far) unexpected expenses, one was for repairing my home stereo and another more expensive expense is half the cost of replacing all four tires on my mom's car since coincidentally they all got horribly worn at this particular point to where they all needed replacing including one that got flat overnight which precipitated the discovery and also charging the cost of replacement.

Anyway now, there's the matter that also a few of you know about...mom also now chose to check into getting this problem of our house looked into, there's a very noticeable (from the inside) gap between the bottom of the outside wall of my bedroom and the room next to mine and the foundation, to where one can see daylight shining through....

We have had a few people show up with the first one noticing a few more serious cracks in the walls at certain points including inside the garageand started talking about something...struts? piers?...it's all so complicated...mom thinks it could be expensive and even took me to the bank to talk to someone about home equity loans....

Tomorrow there's going to be a bunch of people coming over while I'm at work to check it all out and please pray it's not too expensive and that it COULD wait until maybe the turn of the year so I would have time to do a little saving up for something, anything, maybe saving up as in for tuition since when I get the laptop I'm going to be left with next to nothing...and then I'd be pretty much set up to not worry as much about my paycheck and working myself hard to starve myself to death? Because then instead of holding back $100 a paycheck for a laptop, by end of year I wouldn't have to do that since I would already have it...so I would be free to hold back $200 a month toward whatever the repair would be.

I don't want to have a nervous breakdown but I'm afraid of hearing what I would think is bad news and just have a meltdown in the middle of my place of employment and being "mental institution bound."

And before any of you say anything, yes I am expected to help out since in a way I do "use" the car to get places...just look at it as "paying transportation fare"...sometimes that "fare" is very expensive. Also house maintenance is all part of "renting" a place.