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scared.....

The past few evenings my mom hadnt been feeling good, had burning throat, felt like her lungs are burning and stuff like that.  I had a brain fart and asked a friend that is going to medical school about it and of course without the licence, she couldn't really do anything especially without an examination.  She did however give me a suggestion and I asked mom if she had chest pains and at the time she didn't.

Today when it was close to my clockoff time this coworker that is close to my age came to me at the dishpit and told me that she was taking my mom to the emergency room because of tightness in her chest.  Apparently mom showed up and told her (the coworker) and they left...eventually an hour passed and it was okay that I worked over so I did and then my sister's boss showed up and gave me a ride home.

I'm still in the dark and I'm scared...or I should be...what's wrong with me????  I'm like...calm but I'm also scared...what do I do now?????  I'm almost done with college, I don't know what to do, I never lived on my own before and I hear a lot of things are expensive, and how the hell do I get to college now?  and how am I all of a sudden going to find a good enough job to pay the bills while still taking these last three classes TO GET THAT JOB and pay the bills and get a place to live and get it to where I'd have ease of reasources and get to my job easy....?

I was planning on doing all of that after graduation and now what if mom is going to die???  If I end up working at malfing Mazzio's for the rest of my life because I have to drop out of college as well as a few other things....then my life is OVER...and part of me is correct in thinking that if all my dreams are gone then why bother dream???

WHY BOTHER HAVING DREAMS???????

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
loverofdestiny
Feb. 1st, 2007 04:18 am (UTC)
It's ok. God works for the good of all who trust in him. Your mom and yourself are definitely in my prayers.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )