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Withdrawing....

Called my old friend and fellow graduate Karen in her office in the enrollment offices at campus this afternoon. She thought it would be a great idea for me to withdraw considering what I'm getting in class and stuff.

I still in part feel so ashamed having a second W on my transcript and providing that I do better in the second try of Financing class, I'd still have one W since I'm not even going to waste the time and money going back over Intermediate Accounting. The instructor I've had for most of the semester had told me that if I flunked two tests then accounting probably isn't the field for me. Then over spring break he had a heart attack or something and croaked and the replacement had the same words to me and asked what I made in Financial and Managerial Accounting and I told them I got a C in one and possibly the other one too.

Then I was told that those grades were a clue on how easy Intermediate would be for me.

Part of me feels I've been wasting my time all along wanting to be an accountant. Karen told me that there are loads of jobs that Business Administration can do but still, two wasted semesters...three if you count the one I'm going to use to retake Financing...going to set me back a year an a half.

I'm screwing up my ideal future...the family's ideal future...and this semester it's a pinch more my fault too.

I've got the future of humanity on my shoulders and I'm screwing it all up. Screw it up further and I might as well stay in fucking $5.40 an hour jobs and letting those bosses walk all over me and go live in those damned group home wearing brown shirts and swastikas and "sieg heil"-ing the staff....having my lights and computer off by 9:30 PM...and heck while I'm at it, I ought to marry that dumb, brainless, overly controlling idiot Angela Bradshaw too! I'd probably still be fondly remembered by her family which is less protective than that of my chickenshit first ex-girlfriend Nhu Ly.

It's a sad fate when one has to choose between a Downes Syndrome person that one thought was mild but isn't...and a Vietnamese epileptic with a weak leg that doesn't know how to stand up to her parents and trust other people..or stay single for the rest of one's life.

Oh well could be worse, I could find a goddess anyway and learn that I'm sterile. :-( That would really screw with my plans.