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Very nervous....

The past few days I've been thinking about self esteem and stuff...actually having these annoying conversations and arguments with myself and they are annoying b/c they were when I was away from the computer and even if I was at the computer it would probably appear like brainstorming and my bedroom is apparently to some ppl one disaster area too many.

So anyway, I was thinking of how futile self esteem might be that even with it the chances of even getting an additional/new job or getting a bf/gf or getting a date wouldn't actually improve because it all comes down to everything clicking. As far as jobs go, no matter what you have or what you know, there will always be some negative quality that ppl would always tune into and there will always be a group of ppl that wouldn't be comfortable working w/ such ppl with that quality and think of some reason to say to you why they wouldn't hire you other than that they wouldn't be comfortable working w/ you or don't know how to deal w/ you. Usually it's the famous "We're all booked up w/ your position" or "You're not experienced enough in the field for us." ((the last one was used on me when my old Mazzio's location was remodeled and I was led to believe that the last managers I had there would call everyone up and ask them back when the remodeling was done but when it was nearly done I was told by my old manager that transferred to the location I am at now that I would have to go and re-apply there!!! and I was also told that even though it would essentially be a "Mazzio's name w/ Zio's service" with most of the products from Mazzio's....it ended up being a Zio's clone w/ the Mazzio's name on it.... When I went to the interview I was not only nervous but I had also forgottten to check if the application was a four page booklet and had to complete it before the interview and when it was over, the damned kitchen manager -- yes they had managers for each section there and I had to be interviewed by main and section manager but b/c the main manager knew me he waved me on to the kitchen manager -- said that I didn't have the experience!! HELLO!!!!!! I didn't know that being a table busser and dishwasher needed experience!!! **ding ding ding ding ding!!** Uncomfortable w/ disabled ppl.......))

SDo anyway I'm very nervous b/c I was talking to a friend of mine in church that I like ALOT and her name is Heather and near the end of our conversation I asked about going out to a movie the next weekend and we were thinking about next Sunday afternoon and she said "Call me this next week...." So I'm nervous about next Sunday even though I don't know if it would happen or if it will fall through...nervous about messing up......breathe in....breathe out......breathe in...breathe out....

((OMG I've turned into Mr Miagi...."Wax on, Wax off..."))

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
alicenwndrln
Jun. 4th, 2001 06:23 pm (UTC)
Good luck with Heather. Just relax & try not to freak! Let me know what happens. :-)
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )